Class Agenda #13- Refining our Essays by Varying our sentences.

[Opener]: Circle Up, Tell 1 Anecdote from your weekend that represents how your weekend was.

Mini-Lesson- Varying sentences

SLT-I can work through the writing process by planning, revising, editing, and rewriting

SLT-I can organize and develop my writing so that it is clear and appropriate for the task, purpose, and audience

  • What do the bold sections of our SLT’s mean?
  • Let’s take a look at “I Will Take My Voice Back,” by Quique Aviles
  • I want you to notice the variety of sentences he’s using.


  • Openings
  • Lengths

Class Work- 

  • Take a look at the OWL Example
  • Copy and Paste your Essay Draft to Class Agenda #13, 9/22
  • Re-Read your essay and look for sentence variety.
  • Make sure you are varying your sentence lengths and openings.
  • If you’re not, make changes.

When you’re finished you can-


  1. We will have One More Revision Lesson Tomorrow. Essay is due Wednesday.

Homework II-

I’ll Tweet out starting in CLASS today.

React to at least one of the articles in the comment section of this blog (make sure you identify the article)


I can use technology to publish original work and responsibly collaborate with an online community. (W6)

18 thoughts on “Class Agenda #13- Refining our Essays by Varying our sentences.

  1. Katherine Guzman

    Article: Burger king Japan’s Black Burgers are even worse in real life”
    Well, I don’t really have much too say about this, but what’s true is that in my opinion, Black burgers look disgusting and I will not taste it. Based on this article many seem to dislike it and others are in between the idea of the burger being good and not so bad. A person said, ” This is black enough to be bored to death,” meaning that he or she dislikes it. I personally think that this can be bad for you depending on what got the buns and the burger to be black. Maybe, someday, I will end up eating a small bite just for curiosity.

  2. Rosalva Rivera

    Article: “Burger King Japan’s Black Burgers are even Worse in Real Life”

    These hamburgers in Japan look better in the ads, the original picture of the hamburger looks really bad. I never knew that there would be a hamburger with black cheese, dyed-black bun, and squid-ink-powdered onion-garlic sauce. Many people who ate this burger seemed to dislike it and others thought it was okay. I personally would not take the time to taste the hamburger, it seems disgusting. I wonder how someone came up with the idea of creating a black burger? The black burger resulted to be better looking in the ads.

  3. Michael D

    I read “Gotham Is the Best-Looking Show on Network TV, Though You Have to Grade It on the Superhero Curve” and i love it even more now. When I first heard about it I didn’t know it would be a good show I thought it was just another stupid hero show because people are just running out of ideas but hearing what it will focus on and that it will be really realistic just made me more interested. Plus this summer when I went to visit my brother who lives on 72nd St. and Amsterdam Ave. I saw them filming the show just a block away on 73rd. I went over and asked if I could watch and the guy let me and so I recorded it on my phone, I still have it. and I cant wait to see it on one of the episodes.

  4. Emmanuel Candelario

    What would happen if we all jumped at once

    If we all jumped at once the mass of the earth will decrease and the earth will spin faster. Every time an earthquake occurs the earth spins faster and the same would happen if every jumped at the same time. Unfortunately this earth will need seven billion people more for that to occur. Also in order for that to happen everyone must be standing in a line 500 square miles long. That is almost near to impossible to occur unless it is planned and few people will plan that

  5. Veronica Alvarado

    Article: ‘F-​-​- It, I Quit’: New National Hero Quits TV Reporting Job On-Air, for Weed , this article was funny and very unprofessional. She should’ve never quit her job like that atleast she shove finished her sentence and then walked away on a break and then speak her mind but she didn’t a whole other way with no respect she didn’t care at all. She just agreed with what she was saying and then she just quit because of weed but I guess that’s the way people handle things now .

  6. Melisa Owusu

    I read the Gotham article, and I’m really surprised that there won’t be no hero costumes and all that jazz because I’m a major superhero fanatic. I lost interest in it a while back but now I’ll watch it during the vacation since I’m too busy to watch the premiere today.

  7. NASSIR (Mamadou Balde)

    Article:“Burger King Japan’s Black Burgers are even Worse in Real Life
    Burger King recently launched two new hamburgers in Japan that feature black buns and cheese
    with matching squid ink black sauce. Ads, like the one above, made the burgers look pretty
    unappetizing. But the burgers, known as the Kuro Diamond and Kuro Pearl, look even worse in reality.This is the day of reckoning for Burger King Japan’s Kuro Burger, otherwise known as that thing with the black cheese, dyed-black bun, and squid-ink-powered onion-garlic sauce that became the fast-food media sensation of the year. Alas, the hamburgers people have been served so far seem considerably less delicious-looking than the ones in ad, as seen here. “This is black enough to be bored to death,” this one says, of the all-black, entry-level “Kuro Pearl.”

  8. fatoumata

    Article: “Burger king Japan’s Black Burgers are even worse in real life.”
    Burgers looks even worse in the pictures. The black burgers looks very disgusting even in the picture. Some might think it tastes good and it may look disgusting, but taste good when you eat it. From what I see, I wouldn’t even taste the black Burger.

  9. Machiami Kamara

    Article: “Burger King Japan’s Black Burgers are even Worse in Real Life”
    To me the burgers look unappetizing in both the ads and pictures. Black buns, Black cheese? There HAS to be a side effect to this burger, but it seems they’re not telling us. Japan out of all places seem to have come up with this stupid idea. Just because of this burger, I won’t be traveling to Japan anytime soon. I am not trying to catch any diseases.

  10. Amelia Ingram

    Article:Return of the Black Death

    I feel like this article was very informative and it was a eye opener and after me reading the article it showed me how to be more aware and in other countries there are deadly diseases that they consider the “plague” resulting in multiple deaths Depending on what country you are in.Also the disease is berinambo and is in madscagar and it sounds like a very deadly disease and I am happy after reading this article I can be more informed.

  11. Bernice M. Boateng

    Article – Burger King Japan’s Black Burgers . Yeah I won’t be eating burgers anymore . Yuck ! This article made me think about what I have been eating all this time . Thank you for making me hate burgers .

  12. rosangel polanco

    Article – ” F-it i Quit ”
    Weed is a kind of drug that wont really harm you but still changes you. And because of the good feeling that it has people get addicted so easily. It badically makes you forget about your problems and feel like your not part of this world like you juss get such a happy feeling. And thats maybe why this reporter said “F-it I quit.” Weed was probably already starting to change her mentality so she stol caring and eneded up quitting. That one of the ways it can harm you because people may start thinking that bad choices are ok.

  13. Neftali Baseball

    Article- The Return of the Black Death – Part 1

    First of all that guy has some serious guts to go in a place where an outbreak has happened previously. And those pictures are ridiculous thank God for America but, it also makes one feel bad for those country who aren’t , as stable one may say, as we are.

  14. hilaryc16

    Article: What would happen if we all jumped at once

    If we all jumped at once, it will affect the movement of the earth. If we all jump at the same time the mass would decrease. I never actually thought of this… But I found it interesting.

  15. Hawa Conteh

    Burger Kings Burger
    The first reaction one might display is the image or appearance of the burger is disgust. I always thought that restaurants want to pull a costumer into buying their food howver, with such an appearance who would buy it? If they want to sell a product at least make it look good because appearance does matter. I personally wouldn’t buy it because I will be to disgusted about the look. For those who have tasted it applause to you I wouldn’t do the same.

  16. Charles Crespo

    Article: Burger King Japan’s Black Burgers Are Even Worse in Real Life
    Response: Japan’s Burgers look like that it got overcooked, spray painted, and had a lot of oil when being served to a customer. I would not eat that burger, no way. I prefer to eat a normal burger from a Burger King where I lived than eating a black burger in a Burger King that is in Japan. From my perspective, the Burger King that is in New York shows a lot of attention to people by proving the way that it tastes and looks like when buying one to eat in this actual fast food restaurant or when showing commercials in my TV. Many people would rather stick to their own ways of eating the burger they love or many people would taste Japan’s Burger and maybe they would change their mind or not. It depends on anyone’s choice if they think that Japan came up with an awesome idea of inventing black burgers in their Burger King and if the customers would eat more black burgers than regular burgers. Let’s see the results later on.

  17. Erick Leon

    “Burger King Japan’s Black Burgers are even Worse in Real Life”

    The hamburgers in Japan looks look like that it got overcooked but in the ads it looks way better. Black cheese, dyed-black bun, and squid-ink-powdered onion-garlic sauce are part of the hamburger. Personally I would not eat this hamburger but many people who ate this burger did not like it but others thought it was fine. I would rather eat a regular burger from Burger King.

  18. TyrekeJ

    Article: Burger king Japan’s Black Burgers are even worse in real life”

    Everytime we see an ad from fast food restaurants we see what we’re promised not reality. We know it’s not good yet we still go there because it taste good or at least some of us don’t know what what’s really the process before the burgers are in our stomach. Ad suppose to make one feel the need to get what they saw,sure it worked people was curiosity to try this new black burger hoping it’ll be different than the rest of the burgers. That’s eaxactly what it was different the taste and impression of the burger was certainly lower than the rest of burger kings previous burgers.


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